Kavana Sarma Kaburlu

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Scent of a Woman

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I have seen ‘Scent of a Woman ‘perhaps for the 10 th time today .I always see, several times what I enjoy seeing .Do I identify myself Colonel Slade ( Al Pacino ) ? May be. He is too old, too tired and too blind . He sees no purpose to his life .
I am too old , too tired and too weak. I have discharged my duties to my my family. Once a reporter from Eanadu asked me and my friend Kasibhatla Sreenivasa Rao a very sharp witted intelligent person ( His mother was Sri Sri ‘s First cousin)
" Don’t you want to go up in life ?" My friend answered"We are already there "
Yes I feel satisfied with my achievements in education , career, sports and fine arts .
My presents thoughts are about "what should I do for the rest of my life ? "
Every one has their own calls.
Sri klipatnam rama Rao took up the call of Kathanilayam at 72.

What is my call ?

When I have no more to deliver ,I feel my life has no meaning . Perhaps death is the only thing I still have to accomplish.
So I have taken others calls as mine and plunged head on into them ,.thinking " This is my immediate call ( ఇదే నా తక్షణ కర్తవ్యం )" after some time I find, some calls are false . My spirit gets wounded .
Lt. Colonel Slade says " I . have seen youngsters with amputed limbs but not with amputed spirits.

Here is Charlie His soul is not for sale "
Yesterday when I heard Pavan Kalyan I thought " He is not a great orator But his soul is in tact" You may not agree.
My spirit is wounded some times but dead .

I want to channelise my remaining energies to some thing that gives me satisfaction .
When I feel my present pursuit is not giving me satisfaction I change my course but my search (అన్వేషణ ) for meaning of life continues.

When I write this I know some people who never ventured out of their comfort zone are going to advise me with their conventional wisdom ,what is wrong with my thinking .I know their path is best for them and not for me .
I request them not to take the trouble to tell me .

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Written by kavanasarma

March 15, 2018 at 9:09 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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